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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to discover that Big Website columnist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager following a short conversation in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|